Eden Alexander

Multiple Award Nominated Adult Starlet. Fetish & BDSM Model. World Class Suspension Bondage Model. FemDom. Feminist. Future Pornographer. Latex Lover. Career CamGirl. Puppy Handler & Pony Girl. Total Pervert.

Host of KOFY tv's "Advice From An Adult Star."

2014 AVN Fan Awards nominee for Favorite WebCam Girl. vote here EVERY day!: http://avnawards.avn.com/voting/category/8%20%E2%80%A6/#nom420


{Photo via Tumblr}

Inside, I yelled at him, told him all that I could never hope to tell him in real life. But I didn’t really feel it. I kept all of it at a distance, bathing it in darkness, as if when I next brought it to the light it would have healed, there in the shadows.

It has done so many times now, and it will many more times down the road. In these moments, I have learned that I do not need to feel foolish for hurting. I have accepted that it is not a sign of weakness.

What I felt was true; I loved the darkest shadows of his soul, and the burning brightness that strove so hard to keep them at bay. I loved all about him, even as I hated all that broke us. Even as it caused him to stray, his selfishness, which was both a strength and a fault, finally tearing us apart.

I loved him, and I will not be ashamed of that.

I’ll be a star, you keep directing me//Let’s make the best scene they’ve ever seen

I ask you what’s the matter//You say, oh it’s nothing at all
Heart’s racing, outta control//And you knew that I couldn’t let it go

You used to be this boy I loved//And I used to be this girl of your dreams
Who knew the course of this one drive//Injured us fatally
You took the best years of my life//I took the best years of your life
Felt like love struck me in the night//I pray that love don’t strike twice

Red lipstick, rose petals, heartbreak
I was his Marilyn Monroe
Brown eyes, tuxedo, fast cars
A James Dean on the low

Mother Mary, I swear I wanna change//Mister Jesus, I’d love to be a queen
But I’m from the left side of an island//Never thought this many people would even know my name
As time flies, way above me//For you I’ve cried, tears sea-deep
Oh glory, the prayers carry me

What’s love without tragedy?

Why did they suspend my twitter account?

on Tuesday, June 24th, at almost exactly 2pm, my twitter page @EdenAlexanderXX was suspended. since then, i have contacted twitter on a weekly basis, changed the pictures on my profile, added a phone number to my account, and still, now 13 days later, haven’t even been given a *reason* yet as to why i was suspended.

i have never heard of someone having their account suspended for this long with out it being deleted/taken down, or at least not being given an answer as to why? i have over 35.5k followers it took me 3.5 years to build up. it is also almost impossible to work and book shoots without an open and active twitter account. i cannot open a new account, bc the TOS states that if i do that, both pages will be deleted permanently. I’d like to work with twitter in resolving whatever this issue is, I am more than happy to.

if everyone could please re-tweet (obviously i can’t)  and re-blog this post, and tweet to @twittter and @support and ask them why i have been shut down for so long with zero communication, i would appreciate it very much. 2 very suspicious things happened both the night before and the same day my page was shut down, and i’m correlated to neither circumstances. i don’t want to bring up/blog about anything i’m not related to, but if i continue to have a suspended account all week long, i’m going to have to bring up both. this is ridiculous and i did nothing wrong. i have not worked since March bc of my long term chronic illness and the stress of being in “Twittter jail” on top of everything else I’ve gone through has been almost debilitating, as i’m still dealing with chronic pain and a heart condition on a day to day basis. i need your guys’ help. please.

i would appreciate any and all support, RTs, and re-blogs i can get this week. in the meantime, i can be contacted here on my Tumblr blog. i hope this is nothing but a big misunderstanding.

miss y’all and thanks, love, health, be kind.

Eden Alexander

no chains

i always wanted to be a singer, but i ended up a poet.
i always wanted to be a model, but i ended up a film maker.
i always wanted to be a wife and mother, but instead,
i ended up this thing, this creature,
me.  i am free.
there is a difference between our immoralities…
as similar as we may seem.
because i am no vampire, i’ve salvaged my humanity.
we have all seen me meet my Maker,
but not ignobly.
for i’m more like an old redwood tree, with all humility.
roots. rings. tall.
you look up, and i go on forever. farther than you can see.
but you’re so dark inside, at dawn you retreat.
you’ve never had the light inside of you
to see the real truth inside of me.
it swallows you whole, overwhelms you…
you have melted. you need to feed. that’s never who i intended to be.
but it takes patience to See,
and that my love, you could never be.
so, if you can muster your patience no more,
then think of the trees.
think of me.

so mote it be.

and while i’m away… dust out the demons inside, then it won’t be long…

(Source: youtube.com)

i don’t even know what i’m saying…

but i’m praying for you.

(Source: youtube.com)

Independence Day.

so many memories almost violently fluttering through my head this morning, like an American flag left out too long to hang: faded, tattered, snapping one moment then flailing the next. tense and bracing against the quick and sudden slaps of wind. it’s so windy out today.